Blood Flows

Blood Flows

Judao-Christian God is shooting pool with Zeus, Apollo, and the
others. Judao-Christian God is the youngest among them, though not in
spirit, he privately knows.

“Yo, JCD, I bet you can’t create an entire universe in just a few
days!”, challenges Zeus.

“For the thousandth time please call me by my name! Is that too much
to ask? If Judeo-Christian God is too much for you to handle, God will
do.”

“Right, what about that universe though?” replies an unrepentant Zeus.

“Really? We’re doing this?” God flashes back.

“Yeah, let’s do it. Will be fun!” Dionysus is enthusiastic.

“I bet you this eight ball you can’t do it. Six days.” Zeus taunts.

“You watch me, jokers.” ‘You, with your repulsive stunts!’ Thoughts
rush through God’s being like poison after a bite. ‘Giving birth from
your head. The fornication, the drinking, the incest.’

And in an instant, Judeo-Christian God creates the heaven and the
earth.

“Boooring,” howl the others, because everyone by then has enjoyed a
few too many.

“The earth is without form, and void;” they laugh, “and darkness is
upon the face of the deep. What’s that all about?”

Unperturbed, Judao-Christian God shouts, “Let there be light!” And
there is light.

“All right, that was cool.” concedes Zeus. “Keep goin’.”

“Yes, it is good,” Judao-Christian God observes. “I am not done. But
first, some definitions.”

“I am going to call light ‘Day’, and the darkness I will call
‘Night.'”

“Jesus Christ,” reacts Zeus, “are you building a universe, or a
dictionary? You don’t have to fucking name everything you come up
with.”

But Judao-Christian God slips into a fervent trance. Towards the bar’s
stained ceiling he exclaims “let there be a firmament in the midst of
the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.” And he
makes the firmament, and divides the waters, which were under the
firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And he turns
to the group:

“Here are your firmament and water.”

“What are you talking about?” most everyone around the pool table
mutters in confusion. “You’re dividing water from water? Talk normal,
will ye?”

“How beautiful,” sighs Hestia, and God smiles at her, before he
continues.

“Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place,
and let the dry land appear.” And it was so.

“So what?” Zeus complains, “what’s your obsession with water, anyway?”
Zeus orders another round for everyone.

“Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the
fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself,
upon the earth!” And again, it was so.

“Now you’re talking,” slurs Dionysus, “can some of that fruit be
Chardonnay?” And God makes Chardonnay. Just for the heck of it.

“Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath
life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of
heaven.”

“Geez, aren’t we waxing poetic today! And you’re talking water again,
get off it already,” chimes Aphrodite, who has been
uncharacteristically quiet. “Have another drink, will you!”

“Yes,” Judao-Christian God pronounces, “it is good.”

“Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let
fowl multiply in the earth,” he yells down into the half-made
universe.

“Ohlala, glad we don’t have the kids here tonight. He’s talk’n dirty
now,” Aphrodite yells happily, “I’m with ya, keep goin’!”

“That’s all nice,” Zeus jeers, “but can you make little people that
move? Eh?!”

And Judao-Christian God forms man of the dust of the ground, and
breathes into his nostrils the breath of life; and man becomes a
living soul.

“OK, you got me there,” Zeus concedes, “but you know, you got all
these other creepy crawlies screwing each other and ‘multiplying,’,
‘being fruitful’ as you ever so delicately put it. What about this guy
down there? You have him making out with the sheep? Look at the poor
chap, standing in the field, holding his…”

“Can you for once stop the obscenities?” snaps God.

“Ewww, gross. With the sheep” whines Demeter, ever Zeus’ annoying
sister.

And Judao-Christian God causes a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he
sleeps: and God takes one of his ribs, and closes up the flesh instead
thereof. And the rib, which Judao-Christian God has taken from man,
made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

“Did you wash your hands before you yanked out that rib? I didn’t see
you wash your hands,” frets Hestia.

“It will be fine,” Judeo-Christian God soothes mildly. “Thoughtful of
you to notice.”

“God?” whispers Hestia, “this is all so beautiful? And it’s not even
quite the end of the sixth day? I’m sure you thought of this, just
tell me if you have. I couldn’t ever do what you just did? But I’m
wondering, just thinking, didn’t you make that woman’s eggs
perishable? Won’t it be hard on them to tumble around as she takes
care of the house?”

‘Shit,’ thinks God, and quickly creates the uterine lining.

“That lining is wonderful,” marvels Hestia, “just the solution. You are
so imaginative, Judeo-Christian God. And I’m sure you thought about
this? I’m just being stupid. What happens when an egg exceeds its
intended life span? And can that lining really be permanent?”

“Designed yourself into a corner, haven’t you?” viciously hisses
Hades. “But you have the digestive system, I see, for outgoing
materials. No problem then! Oops, my bad, you didn’t think of a cross
system connection, did you? Too bad…JCG. Ah, but you wisely arranged
for a second egress on her, aren’t you clever. Now, how do you suggest
to loosen that lining, prey tell?”

“Zing!” comments Zeus, fixing God with a thin smile. The room has
fallen quiet. No-one is drinking.

“Let there be muscle cramps.” concedes God quietly.

“Muscle cramps! I like it,” calls Hades. “You exceed my expectations,
JCG. Muscle cramps indeed. Now, let’s see, you’ve got gravity for
flow. Oops, that lining isn’t all that viscous now, is it? Too
bad. But I see, you’ve got saliva, you’ve got bile, you’ve got tears
for transport. Oops, all in different subsystems again; no
connections; no good, are they?”

Silence hovers over the group.

Hestia fidgets.

Hades unblinkingly gazes at Judao-Christian God. Nothing moves around
the table, until the pool balls begin to jitter in a barely
perceptible tremor.

“Blood then.” spits God. “Blood is everywhere.”

“Yes, JCG, blood is everywhere, remember that.” confirms Hades. Hestia
cringes as Hades and Zeus exchange quiet glances.

“Well then, here’s your eight ball, Junior, good job…,” Zeus calls
out and passes the deep-black sphere to Judeo-Christian God.

“To the eight ball!” calls Apollo, lifting his glass.

“To the eight ball.” echos Athena, thoughtfully considering God.

“To the eight ball!” slurs Dionysus, and greedily pours a glass of
Merlot towards his tonsils.

“To the eight ball.” Hera nods.

They drink, while Judeo-Christian God sips of his water, and considers
the group; measures them one by one. Thinking.